Reflection
by fdty
Summary: When Sakura takes a moment to reflect on who she really is.


Slowly, coming into consciousness, Sakura woke up one morning, with a strange thought in mind.

Who was she?

Last night, she had just come back from a mission with the rest of team 7. They were to protect a special artifact and return it to the daughter of a feudal lord. During the mission, there were some ninja that were trying to take the gem away from them. They were Jounin from Stone. Kakashi was on another mission, so the three kids had to fend for themselves. Naruto and Sasuke, once again, had told her to stay out of the way so they could get the job done quickly. She had protested that she could help them out, but they refused for her to get into the fight, saying she "might get in the way" (in Sasuke's own words). She had obeyed, seeing that the enemy was powerful, but still feeling a bit betrayed. When they had arrived at the home of the feudal lord, they were in a conversation with one of his guards. The guard was talking about the life of a true ninja.

"_If you aren't fighting for a specific goal, you'll never be the best shinobi."_

His words had left her speechless. She understood those words, and at the time, thought she applied. Then, on the way back, she got to thinking. If she was so good, why was she the one who was always left behind? Sasuke and Naruto and Kakashi and everyone else always told her to stay out of the way. Because she wasn't god enough to get into a real fight.

Her teammates were, of course. They had goals. Sasuke was striving to get his revenge on his brother, and Naruto was working his butt off to become the next Hokage. But what about her? What was she working for? Sure, she wanted to grab Sasuke's attention, and beat Ino. But what did she have? She may be smart, but Sakura knew that that alone would not always be enough. She realized something—

She didn't have a goal. One that meant something.

Sakura sat up in bed, and stared out the window at the rising sun, the beginning of a new day. She would go to training, watch the boys battle it out, then Kakashi would scold them on how they were teammates and they shouldn't use their trump cards on each other.

Well, at least they _had_ one!

Sakura knew she was the one to blame for her weakness. True, Kakashi focused mostly on Sasuke, and helped Naruto out with the fundamentals, but what all has she learned? She never showed any potential besides brain power.

What did she have?

Her thoughts wandered over to her deceased brother. He had died from a severe case of cancer. There was never a cure made for him, because the type he supported was so rare, doctors never got the chance to study it thoroughly. And then her father was in the hospital, suffering from a poison that he received while on a mission. No cure is found for him, either, and medics say that he may not survive.

Which left her with her mother, who had diabetes.

Sakura stood and walked over to her mirror, still wearing the red dress from the mission. Sakura received many compliments on her looks; everyone was always saying that she would grow up to be beautiful.

But whenever Sakura looked in the mirror, she didn't see what most people saw. She was a small, frail girl who was too weak to become a decent shinobi. She was skinny because of her diets to impress Sasuke. She had bags under her eyes from lack of energy when returning from missions. She had no energy because she never tried hard enough to bring up the pace for herself.

Her dress was tattered and worn. There were a few barely-noticeable rips in the fabric.

She didn't look good in red. Not anymore.

Sakura walked over to her closet, digging into an old box full of cloths her brother bought for her when she graduated from the academy. Cloths she should be wearing on missions, not silly old dresses.

She found gray and black loose mini shorts—mini, because one of his friends said that for girls, it was easier to move around in. There were black slacks for colder days, with room for movement. He had gotten her dark-colored T-shirts and tang-tops. There were also a few pairs of black, leather gloves to protect her hands.

Why had she packed all of this up before? He had gotten all of this for her, and she had tossed it aside? Well, that just felt like spitting on his grave, she never bothered with the things he had gotten her! At the bottom of the box was a pair of flats. They were supposed to be quieter then the ninja sandals she was given.

Sakura pulled out a pair of gray shorts, black tang-top, and the flats and put them on, throwing the dress in the corner of the room. She walked back in front of the mirror, checking herself.

* * *

Leaving quickly, she headed over to the village library. When she came back out, she had two books and a scroll on medical jutsu and training. One book and the scroll were on the basics of medical jutsu.

The other was on how to distinguish poisons.

She noted, on her way to the bridge (nearly two hours earlier than usual), that it was indeed much easier to move around in the cloths her brother had gotten for her so long ago. And to think, she was only walking. Sakura began to wonder how it would be when she started training, the access she would have to easier movement. On her way, she passed by the Yamanaka Flower Shop, and Ino was out setting the store up. She noticed sakura and smirked at what she was wearing.

"Trying to start a trend, Sakura? Because it won't work, those cloths are—"

"My brother got me these before he died." Ino paused, staring at her rival. She never spoke of her brother. She knew that they were ninja clothing. She noticed the books and their titles.

"Medical training?" Sakura blinked.

"Yeah; I think I'm going to become a medic." And with those words, she continued walking.

* * *

When she arrived at the bridge, she sat down Indian-style and began reading through the training.

'_Medical techniques begin at the fundamentals of all shinobi training with chakra. Chakra is the elemental life energy a ninja uses to perform any jutsu. It goes along with the "tree climbing" and the "walking on water" techniques. But instead of channeling the chakra to your feet, medics release the chakra into their hands. The hands make are the easiest part of the human body to send chakra to.'_

Sakura pondered over the small paragraph. So it began with gathering chakra into your hands, eh? She held up her right hand, and tried it out.

After having done the tree-climbing exercise and being exceptional at controlling chakra, Sakura found that gathering chakra into her hands was fairly simple for a first try. She began to read on.

'_The more a person wishes to use with medical jutsu, the more complicated procedures become. For instance, if one simply wanted to heal a cut, it would only take the average medic a matter of seconds. But if they were to try and heal a deep wound or a broken bone, it may take more chakra, and for some, more time. This is because chakra basically quickens a healing process. Very rarely will there be more to it—such as for multiplying skin cells; one would have to actually make them from scratch with chakra, which takes up a large amount of energy. There are also many cases were to heal a deep wound, medics use the 'needle and thread' technique to" weave" the cells of any part of the human anatomy back together. Such as pieces of a shattered bone.'_

Sakura read more from the book, and then moved onto the book on diabetes. It gave causes, common effects (which she knew by now) and some known cures. Well, after reading more and knowing about her mother's condition, it wasn't necessarily a "cure"; it only made symptoms easier to live with. That bit Sakura believed was pathetic, on the doctor's part. Had they even tried coming up with something that would last longer and have more use than the time period of a few months and helping some symptoms? Sakura was ready to try once she had the knowledge and equipment; that was for sure!

She was so engrossed into what she was reading that she didn't even notice Sasuke walk onto the bridge, and then lean against the railing across from her. She had all three things opened up in front of her, her mind somehow wrapped up in all three at the same time.

She had learned after reading a bit on the scroll about poisons that there were already many antidotes for hundreds of poisons—and the Konoha Hospital, she knew, had a good supply on these cures. She pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and stared at it.

It was a form she had received from Shizune a week ago saying what all they knew about the poison. Sakura knew that with what little information she was given, she wasn't going to figure out any more than the people at the hospital.

Sighing in frustration, she closed up everything besides "_Medical Basics" _worked more on chakra gathering.

Still not aware of Sasuke's presence (which slightly bothered him) she took out a kunai and stared at it for a moment before making the tip of it come down to the back f her hand.

Well, it never go there because the hand of someone else had stopped the kunai's movement. Sakura gasped and looked up, seeing Sasuke's face, an odd look in his eyes.

"Sasuke, when did you get here?" He ignored her question.

"What were you doing?" Sakura blinked and looked at him like he was stupid and crazy. Then, after forming the image in her head at what it _looked_ like she was about to do, she began laughing.

"Oh, no, Sasuke, I wasn't doing anything wrong! I was testing something," she said, giving a pointed look at the book that was open in front of her. Sasuke released her hand and read over the page. When he turned back to her, the look of disinterest was back in his eyes.

"Hn."

And he walked back to his side of the bridge. Sakura picked up to kunai and resumed what she was doing. She slowly and carefully made a small thin cut on the back of her hand (being careful of the large blood vein running through it). Dropping the knife of the ground, she brought up her hand and gathered chakra into, pushing her fingers onto the small injury. Since she was new, it took longer than the average medic. But, for a first try, she healed her first cut!

Sakura grinned, feeling well-accomplished of herself, and stared at the now-clear and smooth skin of her hand.

"Cool!" she whispered.

At that moment, Naruto decided to come running up to the bridge, waving his arms like a madman.

"HEY!!!! Sakura!!!!!" he screamed. Sakura gave a small wave in greeting. When he came up, he looked at the books and scroll in front of her. "What's all of this?"

"Stuff on how to become a medic."

"Why do you want to be a medic, Sakura?" Naruto asked. Sasuke, ever-silent, was glad someone had asked so that he wouldn't have to. Sakura hesitated, not wanting to tell them all of her reasons. She didn't know how they would take it if they knew that part of the reason was so she wouldn't hold them back. And then she didn't want to talk about her dad and brother.

"Well, it's sort of personal…"

"Oh, come on! You can tell us anything! Well, you can tell me, but I'm not sure about Sasuke there…" he said. That little comment earned him a glare from the Uchiha. Before she could answer, Naruto threw another question at her. "Hey, why are you wearing different cloths?"

"These are the cloths my brother bought for me when I became a Gennin, a few months before he died." The boys stared at her in silence after hearing that. Sasuke understood the meaning behind the words. Naruto on the other hand—

"You have a brother?" Sakura sighed.

"I had a brother, Naruto. He died from cancer after returning from a mission." Naruto caught the hint and shut himself up. For a moment.

"I bet you're going to be a great medic, Sakura!" the blonde exclaimed, giving her his trademark grin. Sasuke nodded once.

Sakura smiled at her two teammates.

Yes, she would be great.

* * *

**Crappy beginning, crappy ending---I think I see a pattern . . .**


End file.
